Different people have very different lives, so I’m interested to hear the range of replies.
Do you only get sexual in a monogamous relationship? Do you use ‘hookup apps’ or specialized apps? Do you meet people at events? Casual events, special-interest clubs, hobby clubs? Are you involved in a fetish community? Do your friendships become sexual? Do you party at dance clubs? Do you pay at a brothel? Do you get approached unexpectedly in public? Do you look for partners intentionally or do you meet partners incidentally?
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I’m in an open relationship.
On a romantic level, she’s my only partner. We were in a large group of friends with shared hobbies. After several months, since we were close and I liked her, I asked her out for a drink, just the two of us, if she wanted.
If it’s for more than sex, I need to take time to meet people, know them, see if we have the same values, the same life projects, if there’s an alchemy between us.
On a purely sexual level, I go to gay saunas and I always find new partners there. Some of them have suggested meeting outside the sauna, for gay or swinger booty call, but I don’t want to take the risk of someone falling in love (me or them) when I’m already in a loving couple.
Only monogamous relationship for me, yeah.
I did try other options, friends with benefits and stuff, but nothing actually compares to me, not even close, with the partner who intimately knows me, cares about me on all levels, and knows of all the things that turn me on.
Besides, sex in relationships is a continuation of a deeper feeling, a way to express love and a special kind of gentleness. Yeah, I’d say sex is very romantic to me.
But nothing bad with other options if you’re into it! Monogamous folks are often portrayed as boring puritans who tell people what to do, so I’ll stress that - you do you, but my drive works this way. And boy can monogamous sex get kinky…
Now? In bed.
But when we were swinging, SLS app was pretty good, for over-30 crowd anyway. And assuming you are looking for a couple or a man.
If looking at my whole life?
8 years hookups just with friends and acquaintances.
Then monogamous for 20 years, until 5 years of no sex then I got a lover and realized I wasn’t gonna make it celibate the rest of my life.
Then a couple years of drama, some swinging, etc.
Then I met my eventual husband, online. We had some years of swinging but for health reasons about 8 years monogamous now. I can do this easier with him because we fuck at least once a day, for a dozen years so far.
SLS?
SwingLifeStyle. Literally just SLS.com to get there. I am sure it depends where you are, but here it was pretty active.
Where indeed? I’m pansexual, currently leaning more gay, nb-presenting male with a thin frame. If I had no standards, I could probably find some bear in the area. Scruff is another gay app, and I managed to meet someone through that who looks like my type but isn’t much of a top and didn’t want to meet again. I’m also on a BDSM-focused gay site called Recon, where I’ve been engaged in a multi-month ongoing conversation with this shy pantyhose fetishist who eventually wants to try things. I avoid Grindr because I’m not looking for disposable experiences.
Straight middle aged white male here
Bars mostly, work your way into a conversation, and start buying drinks. But don’t go into it trying to score, just hang out and make friends. If it happens it happens, if not, you just made some new friends who have more friends, and eventually you might meet someone cool.
Apps were better before tinder, you could go on okcupid or plentyoffish and be drowning in dates. Now it’s all swiping and no one reads shit, if your first picture isn’t god tier you don’t have a chance.
