• cobra89@beehaw.org
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        6 months ago

        On the flip side, if the genders were changed in this situation and the guy only wanted the woman because of superficial reasons like she was attractive or popular, how many people would be saying “he got what he deserves”

        This is definitely one of those double standard situations. While we shouldn’t be victim blaming, I think there’s something to be said for calling out people who are willing to throw away an existing relationship or form a new relationship just because an “influencer” came up to them and they thought they were rich. And I think that’s what the poster you are responding to was getting at.

        • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.org
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          6 months ago

          I think it’s completely fair to have an honest conversation about what could cause someone to be enticed by a large number of followers, but I don’t think that OP was making space for that conversation. It came off as victim blaming because there was no attempt at nuance or unpacking the fact that these women were targeted by a conman and that we really shouldn’t be blaming them at all.

      • jarfil@beehaw.org
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        6 months ago

        Honestly, I’m having a hard time not blaming everyone in this.

        • Seller: scamming wannabe scammers, while actively spreading and promoting toxic ideas.
        • Buyers (1st level victims): wannabe scammers, trying to scam the final victim.
        • Victims (2nd level): being so shallow as to fall for a fame scam.

        As the saying goes: “you can’t scam a honest man person”… but a dishonest one, oh boy, you can scam them over and over and over.

        • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.org
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          6 months ago

          Again, can we please not victim blame? Calling this a failure, saying that they must be “so shallow” to fall for a fame scam is analogous to saying “she was asking for it because of the way she was dressed” to a rape victim. Being a human is complicated and there are many reasons a victim can fall prey to a scam. It’s not as one dimensional as you’re painting it and regardless of how shallow a person is, no one deserves to be taken advantage of. The focus of discussion here should not be the victim, but rather the perpetrator and the fact that they are out to take advantage of others. That’s abhorrent behavior and we should keep the focus squarely on them.