ArugulaZ

Kbin shows a picture of Data from Star Trek smoking a pipe.

Elementary, my dear Mr. Putin.

This dude gives me the same vibes as Mojo Jojo in that episode of The Powerpuff Girls, where he’s protected by a bunch of dumb hippies.

“Not so fast, Mojo Jojo!”
“Help, I’m being oppressed!”
“Not so fast, Powerpuff Girls!”

Hardware wise, that’s been pretty much the case forever (example: Atari 5200 is a consolized Atari 400 computer), but it’s that simplified interface and the instant gratification that makes the distinction between the two. On a game system: insert game. Press start. Play game. On a computer? Tons and tons and tons of loading and file management and updates and passwords and downloads and accepting EULAs and Oh God now it’s crashed and I have to start the damn thing all over again.

Game consoles satisfy that urgent need for “ME GAME NOW.” At least, they used to. In the olden times, you could start a game in the time it takes for you to drop a quarter in the machine and press 1P. Now, it seems like game companies do everything within their power to delay that dopamine fix on consoles… which is uncomfortably close to the gaming experience on computers. “Another cut scene? Gee, great. It’s not like I started this video game to play a video game.”

Vaguely related: why the hell was it so hard for me to start Borderlands 3 on my Xbox? It’s like, dude, I don’t need your annoying third party service. This is still a game system, not a computer, right? Just… just let me press start and start the game without signing up for some other crap.

I covered this on my own magazine. Let me tell you, it’s really good. Virtual Boy games make a near-perfect transition to the 3DS, and you don’t have to smash your face into a visor for the 3D effects. (You will still get eyestrain, though.) You can, technically, play it on a 2DS, but it’s like drinking non-alcoholic beer… what’s even the point?

The biggest challenge of the interview was the translator trying to understand what Tucker Carlson was saying with his mouth full.

If right-wing douchebags like these were actually replaced, what would we have lost? Nothing of value, certainly.

God made herpes, and I don’t want that, either.

Belarus! The country whose existence you only know about from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?!

Mission accomplished. Many, many times over.

Have less babies, have more babies! Geez, China, make up your minds!

Haw haw!

SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE ELON MUSK. END STATEMENT.

I mean, I would agree. I still use social media, but not as often or as enthusiastically as I did a year ago. I’m pretty sure you already know who I blame for this.

There are too many of these goddamned social networks anyway. After Twitter/X exploded, everyone else wanted to grab a piece of that pie, and now we’ve got a dozen social networks nobody uses.

If you want a progressive social network that doesn’t take shit from goosesteppers, Cohost is probably the place to go. It’s so neurodivergent and trans-friendly that I can’t imagine them blithely accepting Nazi content. It’s just not how Cohost works. “Blah blah blah, free speech!” Not here, chumps. We’ve got standards. Go somewhere else to push that poison.

Compile did this like a million years ago in Zanac.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/a39cf9072d54b83f4d31f2b20cf525c4/tumblr_mslnpg9cGx1qbw2q1o1_1280.jpg

Good thing I spent five years in college sharpening my writing skills, only to be obsoleted by an uppity toaster. That’ll make paying my student loans so much easier.