We’ve been married for 2 years and been together for 4. We have a healthy sexual relationship although after the arrival of our kid we don’t have sex that much. The thing is that I want her to be more of a hotwife. To give you an example of my “dream” :

I would like it if we go for vacations and we stay in an adult only hotel where she would have the freedom to flirt with whoever she likes and she can have sex or just flirt with him for as long as we are there.

Do you have any advice on how to approach this? Should I just keep fantasizing about her with others or I should talk to her?

Thank you in advance

  • rufus@discuss.tchncs.de
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    6 months ago

    Uuhh. Difficult topic. That needs to be something all participating parties like, or it won’t work.

    I’d bring it up eventually. Say ‘wife, I had this fantasy … would that be something that’d turn you on?’ Maybe start slowly with just role-plaing it as a fantasy and see if it goes somewhere.

    There are several podcasts on sexual things. Detailing experiences of other people, discussing healthy behaviours… (Maybe you want to visit a Swingers club. I’ve heard you can have a tour of the place and get an introduction in good establishments. And you can take it slow and aren’t forced to participate on the first visit. But that’s also something I’ve only heard about in podcasts and never experienced myself. So there’s that. And people recommend not to try things like this to save your marriage. You’re bound to fail. So only do it if you’re happy together and comfortable.) And I don’t know if it’s just the flirting for you or the whole thing. I’d say just flirting is more tame. But it also needs to be something the other person would be comfortable to do and get anything out of it.